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Bad Breakups March 25, 2006

Posted by Michael McVey in Online Tools.

dontdate   Yesterday one of my students came to me concerned about her grade. She was also concerned that I had not been grading her blog entries. It turns out, because of a communication error, I had never and added her blog in to my RSS feed on www.bloglines.com. She was actually one of the more prolific writers in the class. She was a little concerned that I had not responded to her writing. I certainly rectified that right away.

My student had lately been suffering from the mean reds. I had never heard this phrase before, I correct myself, I had heard the phrase before in the movie Breakfast at Tiffanys but had long since forgotten it.

You may recall from the book and the movie that, unlike the blues, the mean reds are an angst-like feeling of hopelessness, confusion, and desperation. One of the things that cause the mean reds for my student was a very bad breakup. Now affairs of the heart are tricky thing in general and frustration can certainly reign in one’s life for a while following a bad breakup. The Internet is creating a new wrinkle in that whole process.

My student directed me to a site called don’t date him girl. This site is designed for women who have been jilted, dumped, abandoned, turned upon, and generally left sitting on the raw end of a bad relationship. They are encouraged to document in brief anecdotes their case and urge everyone else to avoid dating the man who just hurt her.

On the one hand, this is extremely empowering but on the other hand, there is a lot of potential for abuse of the system. What is to stop somebody from writing a vitriolic piece about the other party in a relationship that just did not work out? Actually, the man at the subject of the piece has the opportunity write a rebuttal to the anecdote. However, the offended party who initiated the anecdote does get a chance to respond to the rebuttal.

Even if you have not been party to a bad breakup, these anecdotes make for some fun reading, photos included. There appeared to be many married cads out there misrepresenting themselves. Let us hope this site opens a few eyes and raises a few questions.



1. Zs - March 25, 2006

Did you ever think from where it comes this need of trashing someone who cheated on you? From where it comes the need to see all the dirt between two people? I see TV shows where they spit, swear, and beat each other. And people are glued to the tube to see this and ejnoy it. Why?
Perhaps is a reminiscence to the gossip of the town? When people meet and learn the last gossip about other ones in town… Since in our days people do not meet thier neighbors (many even do not know their neighbors’ name) the TV is a surogate :-)
I think we learn from all relationships, good or bad, happy or painful. Perhaps we would just have to choose to learn and prove we are wiser?… Or I might be naive :-)

2. mcvey - March 25, 2006

What an interesting set of insights you have shared. Perhaps gossip is in our human nature. It might be a form of environmental scan we do to determine social changes that might affect us or alert us to danger or opportunities in the community.

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